I recognize that this phase of life can be the most sorrowful, heavy, and frightening period we face. However, I firmly believe it also holds the potential to be the most loving, connected, and sacred.
At "Softest Night," my mission as an end-of-life doula is to guide you from the former to the latter, creating a deeply peaceful, intentional, life-affirming transition. You are fully living until the moment you die, and you do not have to walk this journey alone.
Navigate information and options related to palliative care, hospice, caregiving, Medical Aid in Dying, VSED, after-body care, rituals, disposition of body wishes, etc. to help you make conscious choices best for you. Education on the nature of the dying process.
Ensure readiness by tackling crucial paperwork, including your advanced healthcare directive, Medical Power of Attorney and MOST forms. Talk through your values and the various interventions so that you are empowered to choose your wishes. Facilitate meaningful conversations with your loved ones. Collaborate with clinical care team.
Craft a personalized vigil plan for your final days- how you want the time to look, sound, feel, as well as after-death care, shaping your end-of-life time with thoughtful consideration. Advocate for these wishes as much as the dying process allows.
Deep, active listening, working through feelings around loss with reflection, finding meaning and normalizing your experience. End of Life is a time when RUGS (regrets, unfinished business, guilt and shame) might come to the forefront, and through conversation, you can find healing. Any of this is only initiated by the client - I follow your lead.
Exploring meaning in life and capturing life themes through gentle conversation. Utilizing the clinically-backed practice of Dignity Therapy. Creating a document that records and celebrates your life and wisdom, if desired. This practice can bring great comfort and peace at any point along your life’s journey.
Creating a legacy project for your loved ones to remember you by. This can involve guided letter-writing, videos, photo books, making teddy bears, a library, art piece or other options. Focuses on life rather than death, and offers hope and purpose during this time.
Providing respite for caregivers, deep listening, comfort touch, and a steady source of peace and strength. Train loved ones in the basics of comfort care (mouth care, repositioning, cool/warm compresses, etc.). Educate everyone on what to expect and how to support you, offering reassurance and compassion. Provide respite for primary caregivers. Collaborate with clinical care team.
Creating a sacred space with the right people, your favorite scents and sounds, meaningful rituals and meditation, poetry or prayer to support your final transition. Advocate for your wishes. Support your loved ones.
Gentle, tender body care after-death as desired. Logistical management with crematory/funeral home/etc. Enact after-death care plan. Follow-up with family for reprocessing and grief work in 1-2 sessions.
Education and support if this is a choice you wish to make for yourself. Help facilitate delicate conversations with loved ones. Help you thoughtfully and practically prepare for the day of ingestion or period of VSED. Support you and your loved ones on the day of ingestion, including medicine preparation. This is only ever led by you, and you have the choice to choose differently at any step along the way.
I offer a free 30 minute consultation, where you can decide if we will be a good fit, and I can hear your hopes, concerns and questions about your End of Life time.